“Chain of Disdain” at Chengdu’s marriage markets in local parks

It has become a popular trend in China’s big cities for parents to seek partners for their unmarried children in local parks, where they display their child’s basic information and arrange blind dates for them.

Parents seek partners for their unmarried children in a local park in Chengdu, where they display their child’s basic information. [Photo: thecover.cn]

Some sons and daughters are so busy with work, or show no interest in getting married, so parents take it upon themselves to find a suitable match. But both parties – ‘buyers’ and ‘sellers’ - can be very choosy.

Whereas household registration – the right to live in a certain place - is regarded as a must in Beijing’s “marriage markets in the park,” parents in Chengdu seem to be less fussy, reports thecover.cn.

Wang Yueyue has just moved from Beijing to Chengdu. She had a bad experience of the match-making practice in Beijing, where she was immediately rejected by the mother of a boy because she wasn’t ‘local.’

Parents seek partners for their unmarried children in a local park in Chengdu, where they display their child’s basic information. [Photo: thecover.cn]

“Chengdu’s marriage corners are more tolerant. Unlike Beijing, people here do not just focus on local household registration, houses, and cars,” she says.

However, parents in Chengdu do still have some requirements. People talk of a ‘Chain of Disdain,’ with certain attributes or professions going to the end of the queue.

Working in a state-owned enterprise in Chengdu after graduating from top university, Zhang Ai went on a blind date arranged by her parents a few days ago. However, the boy’s family rejected her based on Chinese zodiac signs. “They believe those born in Hare and Cock years are incompatible with one another,” Zhang says with a bitter smile.

Occupation is regarded as another important factor. It is reported that doctors and nurses are not seen as ideal partners, due to the long and irregular hours they work.

Female doctors also lie at the end of the “chain of disdain.” Boys apparently don’t like girls who have higher degrees than them. On the contrary, male doctors are quite popular in the “marriage markets.”

Males in general have a greater choice in partners, partly due to the gender disparity in Chinese society.  There are simply more men than women available. “Only 10% of those at the ‘marriage corners’ in parks are the parents of males,” one intermediary agent said.

Parents seek partners for their unmarried children in a local park in Chengdu, where they display their child’s basic information. [Photo: thecover.cn]

Some unmarried young people feel as though they are being treated like goods to be bought and sold at these “marriage markets,” especially with the emergence of intermediary agencies at these events. Many parents are willing to pay a registration fee of some 200 yuan to have more potential partners introduced to their children. Some even pay 4000 yuan to become a VIP member.

Asked why their children cannot find partners themselves, parents at marriage corners regret that they haven’t taught their children anything about “love.”

“I beat my daughter when she fell in love at high school; now she is already 30, but has never had a boyfriend since then,” one father admitted regretfully.

Many parents admit they don’t really have any practical expectations from the marriage markets. They simply want to ‘show off’ their kids, whom they see as their most precious treasure.